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I have just come back from Amsterdam where I discovered a new strain of Cannabis called Gravity. Normally I have debilitating symptoms caused by my MS. These include the usual symptoms including fatigue, heaviness, muscle weakness, muscle spasms, loss of balance and dizziness, nausea, insomnia, numbness, pain and pins and needles.
Just to give you an idea about myself. I’m 33 years of age, in 1999 I collapsed with chronic lower back pain which put me in a wheel chair for a good while until my pain relief had got sorted out. The NHS took 2.5 years to diagnose my problem which was ruptured/degenerative discs in my lower back just above the end of the tail bone. This caused pressure on my sciatic nerves which affected the use of my legs and I’ve never been able to stand up straight since.
The pain etc I suffer in just so bad you can only say its like having a large knife in your arse and that every time you move your spine it digs in further. I just got to grips with my disability then in 2003 I was hit buy a car from behind by an old man wearing thick black glasses. He gave up driving over the RTA which was his fault and I ended up with a damaged spinal chord (syrinx), facet joint syndrome which has taken the use of my arms away from me due to pain.
Only cannabis gives me more use of my arms.
The morphine they give me only takes the edge off the pain. The anti epileptic drugs they give me for pain, make me feel sick all the while and make me feel like I’m loosing the plot (I know pot can do this too, but pot is controllable!) I’ve been suicidal a few times as without cannabis the pain is that bad that I’m bed ridden and unable to even breathe without crying in agony.
This went to BBC Radio 4 today in preparation for a programme dicussing The Cannabis Trade. Listen at 8PM on Thursday.
[ Winifred Robinson tracks the movement of cannabis, from the Vietnamese operators illegally growing massive quantities in Britain to the boarding schools where heads claim it is destroying young lives. ]
Today I'm at my wits end. With no offer of assistance from anyone, I'm having to arrange a trip to Holland to ease my pain and the pain of a few others.
As I lay in bed covered in sweat I pondered what to do next for all of us. I got up and changed out of my soaking pyjamas into dry ones. I got back into bed and thought for just a moment when it hit me. I reckon it's time for a chat on YouTube about the GNR and about my recent exploits on the Wright Stuff and the debate it's caused. I got the important sound bites out there, 16 million plus of us out here and contaminated cannabis being and issue for medi users and parents alike. It's time to drop that info onto YouTube! It'll be done today.
The effort of continuously phoning the government and the stress of constantly being ignored, mixed with the situation of not being able to source clean medication saw my health decline for the past week or so... I am sorry, but I had to stay offline for most of this period due to my feelings of anger and frustration over the whole situation. I can be less than diplomatic when feeling ill. Also, I never thought that I would be smoking 'clean soap' (which Sarah UPS'd from the Midlands during the strike - and clean soap is a contradiction in itself) in preference to the plant, but the cannabis for sale locally is so badly contaminated, its unusable.
I have also been very frustrated at the apathetic nature of the majority of the cannabis community over the issue of prohibition and contamination. It takes its toll when I hear first hand from grown men who are in tears, threatening suicide as the pain is so bad... I get contacted by siblings and partners of sufferers who are as equally distraught after watching their loved-ones health decline. But thankfully, AT LAST, people are starting to come around. Medication is being offered to those who need it most, and more people are standing up to take the fight to London. THANK YOU to those who have recently joined.
I wasted a hell of a lot of time trying to contact someone in government. The admin staff know me by voice now... They are aware of the seriousness of the situation for us medi users, yet the government still fails to speak to us. Why is this so? Its simple - because by doing so, they would have to justify a law that is totally unjustifiable.
Well Mr Brown, you have left us no choice. We are now going to have to put our health in even more jeapordy to fight you head-on, using whatever methods we can, so that eventually the public will be informed of the true facts regarding medicinal cannabis.
You are a coward Mr Brown!... Where is your empathy?... You will not escape this issue for ever.
Yesterday, I received a telephone call from Mr Denning from the Department of Health drugs unit, which I believe was the 'open dialogue' that I was promised... All he could do was to tell me the government drugs policy, and was not in a position to either listen or act upon the issues regarding medicinal cannabis use. I have since been on the telephone to the following people:
Leanne Johnston (Diary secretary to Gordon Brown): She was unable or unwilling to help, take a message or suggest anything. In fact, she spoke to me as though I were an annoyance, and in a very sharp manner - the conversation did not last long. I would like to thank Leanne for her 'compassion'.... (yes Im being sarcastic)
Tina (Head of DCU, Downing St): While she seems sympathetic, and is trying to do her best for me, all that she can do is forward my correspondence to the relevant departments, and suggested that I contact my local MP. Many medi users have contacted their MP's, and many do not receive a reply or any help. I will contact Linda Gilroy (my MP) again, but I represent a UK-wide organisation with a very strong argument. It surprises me that nobody seems to wish to address the medi cannabis issue. Tina, Yvonne and Dannielle at the DCU are the most humane people I've spoken to at Downing Street, but it seems as though their hands are tied.
Lorna (Sue Nye's P.A.): She was colder on the telephone than before, and said that all she can do is pass my details to the DCU. She refused to pass on any message to Sue Nye, and said that there was nothing more she could do to help.
An unnamed assistant to Michael Ellam: (See above). She refused to even pass on a verbal message to Mr Ellam, even though she works in the same office as him.
So it looks as though as though the demonstration may be a real possibility. This is something that I was trying to avoid, as some of the people who have shown a willingness to demonstrate are very ill indeed, and a trip to London followed by a demonstration could be enough to literally kill them.
I know the government is reading this blog entry... Please, I ask you for compassion sake - PLEASE TALK TO US! We need an open dialogue with somebody who can help. Having telephone calls from people who just repeat government policy is no good - I can do that myself by reading governmental websites. Medi users in the UK are suffering, and suffering badly at the moment. Where is your compassion Mr Brown? Where is your heart? What happened to your promisses you made that you would be there for your people?....
Even though I had sympathy from every person who I spoke to in Downing Street over the past few days, I still am not any closer to being guaranteed a meeting with Gordon. So just to show them that I mean business, I ok'd the article to be printed in Todays Herald. The article can be read here (you can leave comments!) or you can read the article in the content of this blog posting.
I had just faxed the entire article to Gordon Browns office this morning. Lets hope that it will make someone there listen.